Understanding the personality of the perpetrator can provide some insights on the motivation behind their behaviours. Most perpetrators who engage with post-separation abuse have anarchistic personality, possessive/obsessive personality or antisocial personality traits. In general terms they may lack of empathy, exhibit anti-social behaviours and generally lack regard for the rights of others and the law.
Narcissistic Personalities – Narcissists have an inflated sense of their own self importance and have a lack or empathy for others. In the context of post-separation abuse a narcissist may view their partner as an extension of themselves. When the relationship ends this can lead them to attempt to regain control and they may use tactics such as manipulation, threats, or other actions intended to punish the other party for leaving.
Possessive and Obsessive Personalities – Individuals with possessive/obsessive personalities have an intense fear of abandonment that feeds their need for control within a relationship. They may be extremely jealous and have difficulty accepting that the relationship is over. In the context of post separation abuse they may engage in stalking and harassing behaviours that may take place both on line and offline and they may try to manipulate their partner back into the relationship by making emotional appeals or threats. This may include ‘love bombing’ and promises to change or threats to commit suicide if their partner does not return.
Antisocial Personalities – An antisocial personality can be identified by their disregard for the law and the rights of other people. They can be manipulative, impulsive and lack remorse for their actions and the harm they have caused. In the context of post separation abuse the behaviours may include intimidation, threats and violence intended to regain their control. They may also exploit the legal system by making false accusations and may also use children as pawns in their attempt to exert power and control and punish their partner with no consideration for the consequences